How do i ride my man and Wow him? This is an adult question?

I just lost my virginity to my boyfriend about a month ago. We have had twice so far and both times he was on top. He always trys 2 pull me on top of him but i stop him. I have a huge fear of being on top. He's littler then me but not by alot & im a chubby girl. im 5ft 215 but i carry my weight very well & have large . I'm not really scared ill hurt him because i know he is really strong but i can`t lie i am a little self conscious about all of me being on top of him. I guess i just don`t like the fact that he's going 2 be looking at me the whole time while i have to perform things ive never done before. But his birthday is coming up & valentines day...and i know he really wants head but im not ready to do that with him...thats awhole nother fear i need to get over...but one step at a time. So i figured id surprise him and get on top, but im extremely nervous ill look stupid, do something wrong or get tired fast. I'm scared its going 2 be awkward or ill sit on him wrong, and ill probably end up laughing at myself out of embarrment. But i want to be romantic and confident and please him because he deserves it. I just don`t know how 2 get myself in that mindset. I just don`t want to be scared anymore. I want to know in my mind want i want to do before i do it. I want to WOW him!